Iolite
by nephilim888
Summary: Ever since Sango realized she loved Inuyasha, she began to change. Troublesome thoughts became too heavy a burden, conducing the corruption of her soul. The others come to realize these changes, and fear Sango may never be the same.
1. Reminiscing

Chapter 1: Reminiscing

"Inuyasha."

It was Sango's voice calling for the hanyou at the edge of the cliff, his back to her. The taijiya walked up the hill towards him.

Inuyasha was staring at the dying sun with his golden eyes. He didn't move at the sound of Sango's voice; he only continued to watch the sun gradually recede until it's light faded completely, only to be replaced by the stars'.

Until Sango finally was close enough, she gently placed a hand on his shoulder from behind, unsure of how he would react. When he didn't she removed her hand and stepped to his left so she could stand next to him.

Immediately from her touch, Inuyasha sensed some odd sort of relief. Well, a lot was on his mind already. This feeling was normal.

"The view up here is really pleasant," said Sango in a warm tone trying to sound friendly. "I can't believe I never noticed how beautiful the sunset really is." Surely, Inuyasha didn't expect _that_ from Sango.

_This is weird_, thought Inuyasha. _Since when the hell did Sango start talking about things pretty and crap? _He paused for a short while, decided to brush it off, and then he turned to face Sango with the usual expression on his face when he's talking to someone casually.

Watching the sun, Sango spoke. "Inuyasha, dinner's almost ready. Kagome told me to call you because she's finishing up." Sango didn't need to state "Oh, and because she has a sprained ankle." Inuyasha clearly knew that, caring so deeply for Kagome. Sango paused and then looked him in the eyes. "By the time we get back, we'd be right on time." There was a warm kindness in those brown eyes of hers.

Without any hesitation, Inuyasha retorted. "Feh. Who said _we_ would go back? You're making it sound as if I'd come with you. I can go back by myself." Inuyasha noticed the hurt quickly flash across Sango's eyes until it disappeared under the anger. Uncertain on what to do, Inuyasha continued. "_You_ can go ahead." Inuyasha turned back around and watched the sun again, trying to act as if nothing happened.

Sango left silently, feeling slightly miffed. _But then again, I should have been expecting that. I mean, that's how he always is. _

Sango thought mournfully, _Talking to Inuyasha is not as comfortable as talking to the others, even Houshi-sama. I guess I'm not really as close to him than I thought. Maybe he's not even my friend. He's just a fighting companion. _She sighed sadly_. Kagome is really close to Inuyasha. I'm not. Let's face it._ Thinking about Kagome caused her to become angry. _Stop it, Sango! Kagome's your friend._

Sango's scent grew weaker as she walked farther away. _Finally she's gone! _If you could actually consider that a conversation, Inuyasha found it rather awkward. He and Sango were pretty distant. At least he could speak to the others without having to feel as weird as he was feeling now.

Inuyasha felt mildly ashamed of how he reacted. Just the slightest of a fraction of him wanted to apologize. Instead, Inuyasha chose to ignore it. _Why the hell should I care? It's only Sango._ _It shouldn't have bothered her. _

When he cleared out the unwanted thoughts, Inuyasha took one final glance at the sun and walked towards the Keade's.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

During the middle of the night in Keade's hut, Sango was still awake. She just felt so uncomfortable on this mat and couldn't seem to relax, how much for sleep. Aggravated, she'd turn this way and that.

"Ugh!" Sango decided to give up and just stare at the ceiling until breakfast. This thought brought a grim smirk on her face. Her head turned in the direction of Inuyasha's sleeping form across the room.

_I guess he's sleeping inside just to protect Kagome. Her leg isn't in the best condition. _

Sango felt the jealousy twinge at her thoughts, making the smirk even more hateful.

Just a few months ago, Sango realized how she really felt towards Inuyasha. She decided to keep her yearning for him a secret. She certainly couldn't tell Kagome. Even though Kagome was her friend, Sango was pretty sure she wouldn't be any longer if she told her. Sango couldn't bear it if Kagome was gone from her life, now. She already lost so much. Kagome leaving her as a friend would add to the torment. The pain was enough to bear.

And what about Miroku? Sango sometimes even disqualified him as being her friend. _That's how loathesome I really am. I've grown so awful ever since I fell in love with Inuyasha._ The expression on her face was vile, but then it was replaced by a look of fear. _What am I saying? Houshi-sama is my friend! I shouldn't be hating him. Have I really become so despicable? _Everyone in the group had no idea, not even Kirara. Kirara was completely oblivious to these feelings of Sango. Sango irritatedly clutched her blanket harder. These thoughts constantly ran through her head every day.

_I wonder if Inuyasha could ever love me. _Sango closed her eyes in grief. She knew Inuyasha and Kagome were in love. Sango felt selfish. Of course she couldn't have everything her way. A hot tear streamed down her cheek.

"Dammit," whispered Sango as she wiped it away in anger. She felt a huge load of painful morose. Ever since she fell in love with Inuyasha. _Damn this!_ These feelings slowly diminished her every day. _All because of Inuyasha..._

Sango continued to watch the sleeping hanyou, her desire for him steadily growing. She savored this moment, trying to satisfy the thirst in herself for him. His long, silvery hair. Sango longed to run her fingers through it. She needed to. But she knew she couldn't. She just couldn't at all. This thought encouraged the anger inside of her to increase. She was completely addicted. Sango felt the bitter combination of sorrow and hatred.

So her thirst for him will have to heighten some more, until she could appease it thoroughly.

It seemed like a long time, Sango admiring Inuyasha this way. She began to drift off.

_Sleep, Sango. _

It was a quiet, soothing voice gently pulling her deeper into sleep.

_Yes. I want to..._

He gently held her chin with his clawed hand, pulling her face towards his. He pressed his soft lips against hers. She put her arms around his neck. He licked her lip, desiring a taste. She willingly opened her mouth for more, their tongues coming in contact. She felt his sharp fang brush against her tongue, making her bleed. He ran his hands through her dark brown hair. They craved each other. Both needed more. The two pulled apart for air until he roughly pushed his mouth back to her mouth, coveting more. He sent sensual kisses along her jaw and down her neck, nibbling and licking her delicate skin with lust. His hands sensually roamed her slender, nude body stimulating the pleasure near her groin to spike intensely. His breath was hot against her skin, his mouth traveling near her collarbone. She felt his hand touch her inner thigh, her groin becoming painfully aroused.

_I want you,_

_Inuyasha..._

-----------------------------------------------------------

"Is Sango awake, yet?"

"I'll go check, Lady Kagome," Miroku offered. He had that grin on his face.

"Wait a second, bouzo, we all know what you're up to."

Inuyasha was about to walk over to Miroku, when Shippo accidently spilled Inuyasha's ramen all over the ground. The hanyou noticed this and...one could easily imagine what happened. Inuyasha chasing Shippo, Kagome saying "osuwari", Inuyasha yelling at her...

Miroku left for the hut where Sango was. When he reached it he entered to see Sango moaning softly in her sleep. _Is she in pain? _Concerned, he walked over to her and bent down, just to check her forehead.

Sango seemed to be awake. _It was a dream..._

_...nothing more. _She thought disappointedly. She slowly opened her eyes, hoping to see Inuyasha near her. Instead, she saw Miroku's face right above hers.

"What the hell?!" whispered Sango. Intimidated, she automatically punched him in the stomach and sat up. She yelled at him. "Damn you, Miroku!" She was furious at him. She suddenly felt an extreme dislike for him. She suddenly felt violated and disgusted at him. Sango felt a strong urge to take a long bath. To rid the likes of _Miroku_ from her body.

Miroku stumbled back, shocked at Sango's reaction. He never knew Sango would ever act that way. He felt offended and hurt.

_Sango..._ thought Miroku. The monk was confused, that was a sure fact. After a moment of Sango glaring daggers straight into his eyes, he spoke.

"Sango..."

"Get out of here!" She pointed a furious finger towards the door. Her eyes were alive with malice. Her voice laced with pure loathing.

Miroku couldn't believe it. He didn't do anything lecherous for once, yet by the way Sango was acting, she wanted to slaughter him mercilessly.

"This is just a misunderstanding."

"_How dare you say that!_"Sango never knew the monk could be that vulgar. Disgusting. _It was him that whole time! He took advantage of me while I was asleep! _

Miroku raised his voice. "Sango, what's wrong?" He felt hurt and angry. He needed her to understand.

Sango was boiling. She stood up. "_What the hell is friggin wrong with you, you damn bastard?! JUST GET HELL OUT OF HERE, GODDAMMIT!!!!!_"

Miroku yelled back at her, but not near as loudly. "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's wrong!" He was so frustrated. _What is bothering you this badly, Sango?!_

Sango cracked. She wanted to kill him. But she restrained herself. Instead, she grabbed the nearest object, a clay water jug, and hurtled it towards the monk. He quickly dodged it. The jug smashed against the wooden wall. Miroku still didn't leave. _Damn his cursed soul!!_ Sango furiously thrust a cup, a candlestick, a small dish, and other objects of Keade's at Miroku.

"Stop it, Sango!" Miroku had a bruised shin and a bleeding lip. _Why is Sango so irritated?! Did she have a horrible dream that affected her this way?!_

Sango wouldn't calm down. _Why is he still here, dammit?! _One could say she absolutely _despised_ Miroku at this moment. _That bastard! That friggin perverted bastard! The DAMN lech! _

Sango simply began to break down into tears. Acidic tears. Tears out of wrath. She grabbed her katana and stormed out of the hut. She needed to get rid of all this anger. She'd regret killing Miroku, so she was going to kill some unlucky animals. Sango angrily walked towards the woods.

_What the hell was that all about?!_ Miroku has never been so puzzled in his whole life. His head started to ache. It was as if Sango was a completely different person now. He couldn't out his finger on why it seemed that way. Miroku's head started to throb. He ran out of the hut to follow her. He spotted Sango a distance away, and sprinted towards her.

When Sango saw this, she got even more angry (if possible). She raised her katana threateningly. There was no pity in her eyes.

"One step closer, and I'll kill you," she yelled at him, her voice unwavering.

Miroku gave up. The only way, as he could see it, for Sango to calm down was to leave her alone. Miroku was the last person Sango ever wanted to see. The houshi walked in the direction towards the others, trying to sort out his troublesome thoughts and feelings.

Sango continued her trip to the woods. There were so many different thoughts running through her mind. So many indescribable feelings coursing through her body. After hunting, she'd take that long, long bath she longed for. She was in no mood to face the others today.


	2. To Consume All Remorse

A/N: For info on this story (ex: when I'll update, notes on the chapters, etc.), go to my author profile link.

If for some reason you're wondering about why Sango got angry at Miroku, this chapter should help.

Chapter Two: To Consume All Remorse

"How come he won't talk, Kagome?" asked a worried Shippo.

"Maybe he finally learned his lesson," Kagome said with disgust mixed in her tone. She glared at the monk, who was sitting on a rock some decently far distance away trying to meditate. The girl sat on a log with Shippo next to her. Kagome's leg wasn't any help towards the group, but she could still walk around a little bit. She still helped with cooking meals and other chores with Keade. There weren't any shikon shard rumors. It was pretty calm for the past week.

"It doesn't look like it, though. Why would he be so depressed looking? And why does he have those injuries."

"Hmmm... I suppose we could consider that."

Inuyasha watched the two contemplating over Miroku from a tree branch. _They don't know anything, do they?_ He snorted.

When Miroku came back, Inuyasha quickly sensed something odd. His aura suggested sorrow... and cold. When Kagome screamed at him, "What did you do to Sango?!", his aura suddenly enflamed, but quickly died down to as it was when he arrived.

The hanyou knew those injuries of his were caused from Sango. And sniffing out her scent, Inuyasha spotted that Miroku didn't even touch her. _So Sango gave him those little scrapes, huh? But why the hell would she, if the bouzo didn't do anything perverted like anyone would expect?_ Inuyasha turned his direction from Shippo and Kagome to Miroku. He could see his eyes were closed, his legs folded, his staff lain on the grass in front of him.

For some reason, Inuyasha jumped from his tree and walked the distance to Miroku. When he reached him, he realized they were pretty far away from Kagome and Shippo. When Miroku noticed Inuyasha's presence, he only ignored it.

_He going to pretend I'm not here?_ Inuyasha thought. "Hey, monk, what did you do to get Sango pissed off at you?" He could always use a laugh.

Miroku's eyes shot open. He looked Inuyasha in the eyes. "Nothing." He couldn't sound any more serious.

Inuyasha knew it was the truth from the way Miroku responded. He decided to go back to his tree, but stopped when surprisingly, Miroku spoke. "My being next to Sango when she woke up startled her, and she punched me." Miroku sighed. "She yelled at me to leave, but when I resisted so I could find out what was wrong, I soon ended up with these injuries." There was a long pause.

"Wow. Who would have guessed? Sango trying to beat the crap out of _you_?" Inuyasha chuckled.

"Geez. Just when I thought I could have a serious conversation with you." Miroku turned around and continued trying to meditate.

"Okay, okay, I was only joking, Miroku."

The monk didn't react at all. He had so many things lodged on his mind that he needed to sort out.

_Man. Why did I even bother? It's his problem, not mine_. Inuyasha walked back to his tree, thinking talking to Miroku was pathetic. The hanyou must have grown so desperate for something to do, he actually wanted to talk to Miroku. That was it.

"What were you two talking about over there?" Kagome asked looking at him from below. Shippo, being curious, perked up his ears and looked towards Inuyasha, also.

"The monk was just telling me that he got those bruises of his from Sango when he pissed her off, even though he didn't do anything," he said, his eyes closed and arms crossed.

"You believed him?"

"He was telling the truth." Inuyasha was puzzled. _Why would Sango react that way? She could have just slapped the bouzo. Even though he's a lech, he couldn't have done more than grope her._ But Inuyasha was starting to doubt that. "Feh." The hanyou didn't want to think about it. He ridded his mind of such.

Kagome and Shippo were wondering around the same thoughts as Inuyasha. _This never happened before. What happened? _

"Inuyasha, can you please look for her?" Inuyasha could sense her uneasiness.

_Geez. It's obvious Sango needs to be alone. _The hanyou knew he had no other choice. Most probably Kagome would say that damn word and smash him to the ground if he disagreed, anyway. "You might as well say, 'Find Sango, Inuyasha!'," he replied in a childish tone. Inuyasha leaped from his tree branch with ease and sniffed the air when he landed. He then walked in the direction towards Sango's scent. _If she gets all bitchy at me, it's Kagome fault._

* * *

Sango slashed forcefully at a tree to her right as she continued to stomp along the dirt trail, heading deeper into the forest.

Damn him!

Sango killed several rabbits already, leaving their bodies on the ground. Hunting wasn't as affective at remedying her anger as she was hoping for. Her hatred refused to mitigate, making her feel worse as she went further through the trees.

I hope that hole in his hand kills him soon. And when it does, I pray its painful.

Sango smirked cruelly, pleased at such thoughts. She slashed at another tree, the animals' blood from her katana leaving a scarlet stripe on the indentation. Her wrath seemed to grow rather than dissipate as her angry thoughts took over her. Sango was unaware of how foul she was becoming. She was unaware of how her bitter hatred was slowly corrupting her. Her soul was steadily growing darker.

I want him to go to hell.

Sango stopped walking. She was afraid. How could she ever be so heinous? _No! I don't mean it!_

She soon found herself arguing with her conscience._You meant it. All of it._

_No, I didn't!_

_You did. You're furious at him. You want him to suffer in hell._

_No! I was overreacting! How could I be so…_

_Bitchy? That scum tried to rape you while you were asleep. You know I'm right. You were dreaming about Inuyasha, but it was the houshi the whole time. You meant all those heartless things._

_No! I never meant any of it! I was just angry! I didn't know what I was thinking!_

_You want him to die and writhe in pain._

_I was just shocked at seeing him when I woke up!_

_You long for his blood to drip. You want him to suffer from the agony of hell._

_No!!_

_You want to hear his screams of excruciating pain. You want to watch as his body contorts, how his eyes twist in their sockets to the back of his head._

_NO!!_

_Don't be in denial. It's the truth. You meant all of those things. I should know, for I am you._

"_YOU'RE NOT!_" Sango was starting to get anxious. She yelled out loud, becoming greatly irritated at this annoying conscience of hers.

Sango covered her ears with her hands. All the miserable thoughts, all the anger and fear swelling up inside. The sorrow and the regret. She wanted it to end. She needed all this pain to alleviate.

Sango, stop trying to fight it. I am you. I know what hideous things you think of. I know how dark your soul has become.

STOP IT! I was just shocked! …maybe he didn't even do anything…

Sango didn't want to bear it anymore. She began to cry again.

Oh, so you finally come to your senses?! You KNEW the whole time, but you tried so hard to deny it! You were so angry at him because he wasn't Inuyasha!! You WANTED that dream to be true, but when you saw the houshi, you knew Inuyasha would never love you!! You refused to believe it, but you know your love for him will NEVER be requited!!

Sango dropped her katana; it fell with a soft thud. She let herself descend to the ground. She just didn't want to believe it. She didn't want her love for Inuyasha to be one-sided, but she knew it was the truth. She couldn't change fate. Inuyasha could never love her.

These thoughts left the taijiya distressed. She felt as if she's never see happiness again. Sango could barely remember when her life was actually enjoyable. Losing her family and village all in one day, with the torment of envisioning her brother murdering innocent people on her mind everyday ate at her spirit until it was virtually dispersed.

Joining with Inuyasha and the others was a major breakthrough. They became her friends. She could laugh with them. Sango could really be happy with them.

But that was a long time ago. Just around six months ago, Sango realized she loved the hanyou she's been traveling with for almost two years.

_Why did I have to fall in love with him? _Sango was sprawled on the ground looking up towards the heavens, but the trees were in the way, so it was basically pointless to look for any sign of sky. It didn't matter, though. The trees were only a blur with the tears flowing from her eyes. The thoughts and feelings causing her all this affliction and ache existed ever since she loved Inuyasha. He was the cause to why Sango was constantly buried under the steadily growing, heavy load of mourning and torment.

Because of this, Sango's soul was continuously becoming more wicked, becoming tainted with more calamity every day. She was slowly evolving into an evil person, and she knew. She started noticing these changes after a month.

But Sango didn't want to become evil. She would be engulfed by terror every once in a while ever since she discovered her startling changes in personality. But five months after discovering it, right now as she lay, Sango would be smothered in fear of becoming someone satanic a little bit more often.

Sango was angry with herself. _How could I be so corrupt?! So sinful?!_ She regretted falling for Inuyasha. She regretted her rash actions towards Miroku. She regretted how jealous she got over Kagome. She regretted it all. Sango wanted to be happy and cheerful again. She was terrified at the thought of converting into someone of hell itself.

She closed her eyes, the tears never ceasing.


	3. Talented Deciever

It's been a long time since I updated. Sorry for the wait. But this chapter is pretty good. I'm satisfied. It's the longest one.

Okies. Enough talk. Let's read how Sango slowly corrupts herself some more!

- - -

Chapter 3: Talented Deciever

"Shippo, where are you going?"

"I'm going to find Kirara," he yelled back as he sped away towards the hut.

* * *

_Where could that fool have gone? She better be armed, or some demon would have gotten her! _

Inuyasha fleeted the trees, irritated at Sango for her idiotic actions. Anything could have happened to her, and Naraku could have easily taken advantage of this opportunity. According to Inuyasha, this manner was considered a greatly irresponsible act to occur, especially at a time like this.

_Geez. Stop being a moron! She can defend herself. _Inuyasha tried to convince himself that Sango would be fine. _She's a demon slayer, anyway._ He shook his head.

What was bothering him was how he actually cared. "Pft." _Sango's my friend. _The truth was, he was just doing this to please Kagome. He needed to consider her friends, also.

The group has been traveling for so long, and Inuyasha and Kagome eventually grew to trust each other. The hanyou was looking for Sango, knowing that Kagome could fight for the others, along with the monk and Kirara. Shippo's abilities have developed. But the kitsune will always look the same for many years to come. He'll still appear so youthful when Miroku, Sango, and Kagome are long past gone.

Shadows were barely cast onto the ground wherever he flew past. It was the middle of the afternoon and the sun was high above. But the hanyou stayed among the trees moving so swiftly. He was somewhat a red blur staying mostly within the leaves.

Inuyasha continued speeding through the trees. _Man! How far could she have gone?! _Inuyasha was going to give that brainless imbecile one _long_ talk.

He suddenly came to a stop and scented the air, concentrating. He then went on all fours and sniffed at the ground. _She's been here recently. _

Scowling, Inuyasha slowly stood up and ascended a tree. He sniffed the air once more and followed the scent, tracking down Sango. Her scent led him closer towards her. He secretly enjoyed her scent. His expression softened.

* * *

The tears continued. _How long? _

Sango forced herself to stop. _Some slayer. You're vulnerable, sniveling like that. _

Her sorrowing came to a halt. She tried to wipe the wetness off her face, trying to clean herself up. _I'm so weak._

Sango was ashamed, angry at how feeble she's been. Over Inuyasha. Over that half-demon. _You should be ashamed. How powerless you've become. Coward. _These were her very thoughts. She needed to punish herself for becoming so fragile. She hated this. She's supposed to be a demon slayer!

Livid, she crawled over to her soiled katana and gently placed the blade onto her palm, the back of that hand angled against the ground and her chest. Instantly a small stream of blood trickled between the bases of her fingers. Sango slowly deepened the cut, the red liquid trickling down the front of her fingers, dripping off her fingertips. _Punishment._

She removed the blade without any difficulty and stood up. She didn't know what to do, one could say. But she walked deeper through the forest, searching for any signs of a stream.

Using her instincts and her training as a taijiya, she was clever enough to find a small stream. When she heard the splashing noise of water, she picked up her pace. That's when she saw it. She ran towards the clearing where the stream was. The trees thinned as she ran towards it. The sun steadily grew brighter. She shielded her eyes.

Sango examined the stream. The water couldn't be deep and the water was so clear, she saw the rocks on the bottom and the small fish that occasionally swam by.

Soon she adjusted to the light and walked over to the stream to kneel down. She dipped her hands in the water, watching as it tinged pink. After cleaning her hands up, she left her hand unbandaged.

Using her unwounded hand, Sango put a considerable amount of effort into cleansing her face, making sure she erased any signs that she cried earlier. When she was satisfied, she tore off a piece of textile off the bottom hem of her pink and white attire and wrapped it around the cut on her hand, not wanting anyone to get suspicious about that.

She was sly. Quickly, Sango rinsed the blood off her weapon and immediately dried it.

_Now what?_

Not a thought about going back ran through her mind. But then the idea did.

_Kirara_

So she considered traveling. Leaving the others. Leaving Inuyasha. But part of her didn't want to. Only part of her desired running away from everyone. Not all of her.

_If I leave, I can stop thinking about him._

_If I can break away from these feelings, I will be happy again..._

_but..._

_I know I can't forget him._

The taijiya looked up towards the sky, a wistful look overcoming her. _I want to be with my family._

But she knew she had to kill Naraku and avenge her father and her village. She needed to. She needed to avenge Kohaku. Free him and have him in her grasp once more. _It's been too long._

Sango looked ahead. Towards the trees on the other side of the stream. The mountains so far, far away.

She closed her eyes as she stood still. Her face impassive. The sound of the water soon becoming so important to her. The water...flowing into her. She was being pulled into a distant world. Another realm.

Her eyes shot open. She tensed. She knew someone was there.

"Show yourself." Her injured hand clenched the handle of her katana tightly.

She heard a snicker. "Gee, Sango. It's just me." Inuyasha leapt from the ground and landed in front of her. He noticed her heartbeat quicken, and then slow down to normal.

Sango kept on her stoic face. "I didn't know you'd find me," she said calmly, even though she knew he would. He didn't catch her lie, though.

"Feh." Inuyasha turned around to look at her. Sango sensed her anger. He shouted.

"You idiot! What the hell do you think you're doing all the way out here?!" He roughly shoved her and she staggered backwards a bit, but caught her balance. She continued to look him straight in the eye.

"I came here to be by myself for a while," she said seriously, some wrath laced in her voice.

The two glared at each other. Then Inuyasha broke the contact. He wouldn't push her for more answers. He understood that she had the right to be alone. Inuyasha understood that she had a lot on her mind, and knew how she felt thinking about her past. Her memories.

But he didn't intend to let her off that easily. What she just did could have caused major trouble for everyone else, and couldn't be left unnoticed.

"You just go deep into the woods without telling anybody?! You could have been killed by demons, dammit! Taken away! So no one can find you! Is that what you want? Do you have any idea what would have happened if you were killed?!" Inuyasha continued to shout at her. Sango didn't flinch at all, but she felt miserable and angry.

"Will you stop yelling at me, already?!" _Inuyasha hates me. _"I know what could've happened, alright?" She sighed "You're worrying so much," she muttered. Sango took several steps away from him and stared at the stream, as if wondering where it led to.

"F- - -, Sango! Damn, you're being a careless moron! You don't think about the others, huh? You don't have any sense at all, do you? You're supposed to be a demon slayer! Crap!"

"You jackass! I brought my katana! I can defend myself! It's as if you think I'm too weak!" Once again, they both glared at each other.

"Stop being so stubborn! You can't defend yourself from Naraku, all alone in the forest!"

"Naraku didn't come!" Sango refused to break eye contact.

"I know, but he could have! Along with ten demons attacking you all at once!!"

"There _weren't_ any demons! Gosh! You're being stupid! You think something bad's going to happen all the time!" Sango couldn't believe how illogical he was being. So stubborn! But she loved it all the same. She continued.

"You're lecturing me like this only to please Kagome, anyway," she said coldly.

Inuyasha knew that was the truth. At first, he didn't really want to search for Sango, knowing that nothing could go wrong. He knew from the very beginning that she needed some time alone, to think. But as his search for her grew longer, he eventually convinced himself that Sango was being careless, running into the forest like that. That she needed to be lectured. Kagome would be on his side for once. Kagome would appreciate him at a higher standard for caring about Sango's safety.

Sango was right. He only wanted to please Kagome. And she knew she was right. Inuyasha looked away.

Inuyasha wanted to change the subject. "What happened with you and Miroku?" He didn't sound angry at all. More like a blend of curiosity and seriousness.

She made her voice sound casual. "It was stupid...I have to apologize to him." She shook her head.

There was a pause. "So why did you punch him?" He turned to face her.

"He told you?" Sango feigned surprise.

"Yeah, I don't know why, but he sorta opened up to me at least." _Man, what's wrong with me?_

"I thought he groped me, and so I sort of overreacted. That's all," she fibbed, looking into his eyes.

"That's it, huh?" Inuyasha was very curious about this situation.

She responded, her voice even and convincing. "I had a nightmare, and seeing Miroku just shocked me very affectively."

Inuyasha raised an eyebrow.

"Look, it's a long story," Sango sighed on purpose, trying to sound pure, guilt-free. She walked away from him. _Gods. I'm talking to Inuyasha about this? Why didn't I blush or anything? I must've embarrassed myself so badly in front of him! _She knew that she was being untruthful to him. The lies just poured out from her. But she didn't intend to stop them.

"Hold up! That's all that happened?" He walked over to her. "The monk came back with his own strange depression. You know that's not like him."

"Really? I didn't know he'd take it so seriously," she stated innocently. "Well, I'm just saying I overreacted. Nothing big."

Inuyasha had not the slightest idea that Sango was downright lying right to his face.

"Okay. Fine." The half-demon didn't want to ask some more questions. It would sound like he cared too much.

"We should head back," he said.

"You go ahead, I'll catch up," Sango responded.

Without saying anything, Inuyasha leaped into the woods. She watched his every move, until he was out of her sight.

Sango turned around to admire the mountains far in the background.

_I should have told him the truth. Gotten it out. Tell him how I really feel._

Her conscience came back again.

_But why? You've been lying to everyone for so long. Why stop? No one has to know._

Sango knew it was true. She _has _been hiding this new identity from everyone for so long, now. No one had to know.

_I guess. I'd only make a fool out of myself. If I told him._

_Because you know it wasn't decided by fate...for you two to be together._

Sango looked up towards the sky.

_I know... But I don't think I can keep this secret to myself for much longer._

_Of course you can. You're very good at decieving. Your new talents should be put to use._

_But lies will only make this harder than it already is. If I continue to lie, I'll only make this more difficult... maybe until it's too late._

Sango's will continued to fight for her. She needed to stop this while she still had a chance.

_Why? Do you wish you just told the truth from the beginning? _

_I..._

_Do you think if you just told the truth, none of this would have happened? _

The taijiya looked down. Her face shadowed.

_Do you regret lying to the others? _

_Do you regret you never lied in the first place?_

Sango made up her mind. She knew what that answer was.

_No._


	4. Understand Not A Thing

A/N: Go to my author profile link for extra info on this story.

Chapter Four: Understand Not A Thing

_I don't know what to do_.

* * *

Inuyasha slowed down his pace and jumped from the trees to the ground. He would walk. The half-demon still had plenty of questions on his mind left unanswered. Maybe he could ask Sango...but he didn't want it to sound like he cared too much. He didn't have any intentions of becoming a soft, understanding person. Anyone could point that out. But still... 

_Why does it sound like she was lying?_

Inuyasha simply had this vague and familiar feeling about her reasons to why she hurt Miroku. Something bothered him. He thought about other things, also.

_What _was _with her right hand? _

Maybe Inuyasha could turn back and find her again. He didn't go very far. It wasn't a long distance at all. So he turned around and looked back. He looked at the many layers of trees he passed.

_What am I thinking? _Inuyasha slapped his forehead with his palm.

He stood there in the shadows of the trees. The light shifted over him every time the wind blew. Because every time the wind blew, the leaves would rustle. The fractured light would alter over him. Over the ground. Some time went past with this, Inuyasha arguing with himself.

_It's not a big deal if I ask her a few more questions. Sango's my friend, and I'm supposed to consider these type of things. _

Besides, the hanyou was just plain curious.

So he began to sprint back to the place where he found her. The questions going through his mind.

Her scent grew stronger. And he caught a faint glimpse of her in the corner of his eye. She was walking at an unhurried pace, examining her katana.

Inuyasha ran towards her and then cut off her path. It came as a slight shock to the demon slayer, but she kept her composure and stopped walking.

"Okay. You know what?" Inuyasha blurted out. _Man! I must've been really bored stupid to do this._

Sango was thrilled to see Inuyasha again, but prevented herself from blushing or sounding excited. Sounding casual, she replied. "What now, Inuyasha?"

"I have to ask you. What's with your right hand?" Inuyasha sounded very serious. The curiousity was getting to him. That's what happens whenever he has nothing to do for a few days in a row. He snaps.

Sango didn't want him to know what happened. She thought quickly, and came up with an excuse. "I was simply cleaning my katana, and I accidently cut myself," she stated. She saw him give her a queer look. "No...look. Really, I was in deep thought...about certain things. The next thing I knew, I felt some pain in my right palm," she finished slowly. But she continued to gaze into his eyes, determined not to let her heart-rate increase. She knew he could hear it, and so she willed herself to control. Thankfully, nothing bad happened. "It's nothing."

"Feh." He snorted, crossed his arms, and looked away.

Sango did not know what that meant. _Does he think I'm lying? _

She could ask him. Sango built up her courage and asked, "You believe me, right?"

"Well, I understand," he responded, choosing his words cautiously instead of just letting them fall out.

"Understand what?"

"Sango. I understand that you need time to think about...," the hanyou sighed. "...about Kohaku, your family...what happened in the past." He kept that usual scowl on his face, continued to look in some other direction.

Sango stood still, completely shocked. He would actually bring that subject up?

"Inuyasha..." What Sango said was so inaudible, she could barely hear herself say it.

His eyebrows contracted only by a fraction. "Forget it." Inuyasha took a few steps away and crossed his arms. His other questions could wait.

Sango pushed it aside. "Don't worry about it. I'm okay with that." She just enjoyed talking to him, and was glad that he cared. Sango wanted their conversation to last longer.

"You understand," she continued with her warm, friendly tone. "Your past...we really have a lot in common."

Inuyasha looked at her. "Yeah. That's why I understand, I guess." He actually smiled in a friendly way. She returned it.

The two began to walk back towards Keade's. Sango had a small smile on her face, bowing her head down a bit. "We seem to be the last of our people, really," Sango stated thoughtfully, and then looking up. Looking ahead. "But at least you still have your brother," she added. Her tone suggested yearning.

"Feh. That bastard," Inuyasha crossed his arms once more. Sango turned her head to look at him, an eyebrow raised. He looked ahead, his mind fixed on going back to Keade's.

Sure, she knew that Inuyasha had reasons to dislike his brother, Sesshomaru. That demon even attempted to kill them! But she still wanted to know. "How?"

"What? Are we still talking about Sesshomaru? _Keh. _Bastard."

Sango restrained herself from giggling. This _was _a serious matter, but the way Inuyasha could insult his brother could actually be amusing. Who would have known? Sango was supposed to be a mature woman. Not some child.

"Well...yeah. I mean...why do you guys hate each other so much? You're brothers," she continued. _Why _do _they hate each other? I don't think Sesshomaru should neglect his own brother just because he's a half-demon. _Sango sometimes had thoughts on how Inuyasha should be thankful that he still has a brother. It was thoughts like these that would bring her into some reflective state. On Kohaku.

They both continued their trudge through the woods. The silence was making Sango slightly uncomfortable. It somehow felt chilly in a way. She was all alone with Inuyasha. It physically made her feel slightly painful...in her lower chest. Just the lightest of discomfort. But after a while, you would just wish it never came at all.

Sango looked down. She spoke quietly. "Sorry. I shouldn't have asked you that question."

More silence. It needled at her. She just wanted to reach Keade's. That's all she wanted right now.

"It's a long story," Inuyasha said slightly irritated, finally breaking that awkward tension. It was some major relief just washing over her. She just absolutely despised it when Inuyasha wouldn't talk to her. It felt as if he was avoiding her.

"Okay." She didn't feel confident at all. Her voice was so quiet.

Yet...

being this close to him made Sango feel light inside. She wanted to touch him. He was right next to her. They were walking silently side by side. She could just touch him. Run her fingers on his back. Through his hair. She would lust after him every day. And after being alone with him for this long, she felt so elated...yet she is always meloncholy. It is simply because he didn't even love her.

But she would lust after him anyway. Morally, it felt wrong, but it made her feel better. Physically well. So she had some thoughts running through her mind. _And he's right there._

But she restrained herself with a great effort. _Why does he make me feel this way? _Sango pouted. She wished Inuyasha loved her instead of Kagome. Maybe she could somehow... break them up?

_I can't._

But she continued to think about him. She looked at him, and almost seemed to stare at his eyes. She loved his face. It was perfect. She wanted to softly kiss his lips right there and then. Maybe he'd finally figure something out. She could finally tell him, just by giving him a gentle kiss on his lips.

She was suddenly snapped out of her reverie when Inuyasha began to talk again. "I guess I'm not really the type to ask you this...but do you like the monk?"

"What? I don't understand. I respect Houshi-sama, is that what you mean?" The two started going more uphill through these woods. The walk was a lot longer than what the both of them expected. _Did I really go that far? How long was I gone? _Sango never realized these things.

"Oh brother. You know what I mean! I'm just asking you this question because of what happened earlier. It sounds weird that you'd actually hurt him like that. I thought you'd just slap his stupid grinning face," Inuyasha said. Sango didn't know if he was being a joker, or if he was actually serious.

"I told you already. I was shocked at his presence when I woke up, because I had this nightmare. A strange one, but it involved him. A tradgedy. That's what it was...," her voice faltered. She knew perfectly well what her dream was about. It was a terrible dream.

"Sango. That's what sounds peculiar," Inuyasha sternly said.

"I was telling the truth, Inuyasha," Sango stated more firmly. "I would never hurt Miroku like that if he groped me or something. It was just a nightmare that influenced me to do that." They walked past several bushes.

"You know where we're going, right?" she asked, trying to change the subject.

Inuyasha shook his head. "The nose, remember?"

They walked silently some more. The only sounds were the crunching of their feet whenever they stepped over dead leaves and other debris on the ground.

"You still didn't answer my question. Do you like the monk?" Inuyasha asked, curious. Sango's statement of her dream still left him suspicious. For some reason, he didn't want to believe her just yet. But he didn't want to jump to conclusions.

Sango wanted to tell him the truth about it. "I guess Kagome told you everything I said, huh?" Sango felt somewhat hurt. "I suppose I fell for him a long time ago. But now... I don't love him anymore."

Inuyasha knew she was being truthful and honest towards him. But why?

"..." Maybe the hanyou could ask her some more. Why she doesn't love Miroku anymore. _What is wrong with me? _Inuyasha couldn't believe he even cared. _I guess this is what Kagome would call 'bonding'. I'm 'bonding' with Sango. Becoming better friends with her, maybe._

Sango felt thoughtful. "Thanks for caring. Sometimes Kagome doesn't understand things like these. At least you do."

Inuyasha kept silent.

It seemed like an hour passed by, them walking in the woods. Sango would occassionally steal a glance of him from the corner of her eye. She would admire everything about him. Sango wanted to feel his skin against hers. She wanted to feel his lips on hers. Sango wanted to give herself to him. Taste Inuyasha. Every inch of his body.

Before she knew it, Sango's heart began to beat more quickly. She suddenly felt that it was getting way too hot. Sango hurriedly tied her hair up into a high ponytail. She was afraid that Inuyasha would notice what was happening to her. _Control... _She just wanted to calm down.

"Hey, Sango. Are you nervous about going back?" Inuyasha asked calmly. He wasn't just human. Of course his ears could sense the increase of her heartbeat.

"What?" Sango felt the heat rise to her cheeks. _Damn it! _

"You know you're going to see Miroku when we get there."

"Uhh..." After being this close to him for such a long time, Sango lost all of her sly intellect. It was as if she was becoming the same, shy woman when she used to like Miroku.

The one who blushed too much. The one who became too soft at moments...when it started to become way too affectionate. It was only leading her into a trap. Sango was now in this state from a long time ago, and she loathed it. She regretted the way she was before, and regretted ever liking Miroku. If she could go back in time, she would have done things completely different. But now, she was the shy woman again. _Curse this!_

Sango forced herself to say something normal. "Yeah. I know...but I'm not nervous." She struggled. The words just barely came out.

Inuyasha stopped walking. He looked at her. Sango was blushing like mad, and her heartbeat was racing. This struck the hanyou as something so odd. Something popped right into his mind, making him even more confused.

"Uhhh...Sango, you okay?" For once, Sango was beginning to hate his voice.

"Umm...I'm alright." She looked away. _Dammit! Dammit! _

"You sound like you're having a nervous breakdown," he joked.

"What?! N-No I'm not!!" Sango needed this to end. She wanted to run away from this, but her legs wouldn't move at all.

Inuyasha was very puzzled. He didn't know what to do in this type of situation. Women were pretty weird, anyway. "Are you ill?" That was all he could come up with.

"N-No...it's nothing...let's just go."

"Oh yeah? You're burning up," he said, noticing the steadily increasing heat coming from her body. Inuyasha wasn't going to let Sango be ill and try to cure herself without telling anybody. _That would be stupid! Oh, and imagine Sango suddenly dying? Sheesh._

"I'm not ill or anything!" Sango seemed to have found her confidence. The last thing she wanted right now was for him to find out.

Inuyasha could sense her fear. "Look! Calm down, already. I'm only trying to help! Geez." He looked away. _Man. This is weird. _

Sango strived just trying to compose herself. _DAMN THIS!!!! _

She knew if he came any nearer she would become so intensely aroused, and he'd obviously know it...and he would know why. Sango was smothered in terror...one of the worst feelings that could ever happen to her. And she knew that the only way her feelings could still be concealed is if he would just leave. And she knew that he wouldn't leave.

Inuyasha would be friendly and kind to her. He took a step towards her and put a hand on her shoulder. It seemed to calm her down. But he suddenly sensed something. The most peculiar thing. And the look in her eyes...

From this touch, Sango felt erotic. An extreme lust for him. Sango suddenly felt such a deep longing to tear his clothes off. The type of longing that would finally satisfy her needs. She quickly grabbed his shoulders and forcefully pulled him towards her, crushing herself with him. Her hands sliding up from his shoulders to the back of his head, she kissed his lips affectionately. But all of that was a mistake. The most foolish mistake she has ever made. Inuyasha violently pushed himself away from her and gave her a cruel look that suggested disgust. He didn't even say anything. Was he going to hurt her? He didn't. He just sprinted away through the trees.

The taijiya was in complete shock.

"What?!" She whispered. Sango was afraid. She was still leaning against the tree. _What the HELL was I thinking?! He knows. He has to! That's why he left. Inuyasha... must be mad at me..._

Sango grievingly ran her hands through her dark brown hair, slowly sinking to the ground. This position made a unique arrangement of folds in her long, green skirt. It all happened way too quickly, but now Inuyasha hated her for life. All of her dignity has now vanished. All in a matter of a few seconds.

_What did I do?! AARRGHH!!! _She pounded the back of her head against the tree trunk. _DAMN IT!!! _

_He's going to tell the others. Everyone is going to know. They're all going to despise me. I'm going to be humiliated. Kagome just may laugh when she finds out I can't have him while she can. _

_I hate her. I hate all of them. _

_I want her to DIE. Curse her soul!!!!_

Sango irritatedly rubbed the back of her head. _Why did I lose control?! I can't believe this!!_

* * *

Inuyasha couldn't either. _What the F - - -!_

He cursed everything he could think of. What just happened back there was one of the most unexpected things he could even imagine. Something that was _way _too shocking for him to handle.

_Damn it! WHAT THE HELL WAS HER PROBLEM!!! _

Inuyasha began to curse Sango in his mind unrelentlessly. He couldn't believe what she just did! What just happened had to be so far fetched, Inuyasha had second thoughts on if it was even _real_.

_Did that even happen?! _

He was angry at her for some reason. With violent thoughts on how he would hurt her. It wasn't right, what she just did. It was completely wrong. Disgusting. Inuyasha had a very high respect towards her, but now it seemed as if it had completely dissipated. Inuyasha no longer cared for her as a friend. She killed it.

_It couldn't have been real._

But her aroused scent clung onto him, invading his sensitive nose. It all happened. Sango kissed him. It was real.

Completely unexpected, so fictional. Inuyasha was left confused, disturbed, and angry. Everything in his life _had _to be screwed up, didn't it?

As he sped towards Keade's his thoughts lingered on what he would say to the others. Of course they were expecting him to come back with Sango. If Kagome asked him, which was bound to happen, what happened, Inuyasha knew he couldn't lie to her. But somehow, telling the others what happened with him and Sango...didn't feel like a good idea. He knew what would happen if they found out. It wouldn't be good. It would leave the whole group all tangled up and angry with one another.

The hanyou thought Sango wouldn't confess what happened to the others. He didn't want to either. To him, it seemed best just to keep it away from them. He and Sango would never have to talk about it again, and the group would be the same as always. No one needed to get into this mess, meaning they could fight Naraku without losing anybody.

So many thoughts flowed throughout Inuyasha. On how Miroku would react at hearing such...or how Kagome would handle it.

_Kagome..._

A/N: This chapter ended at such an inconvenient time, huh?


End file.
